Those in-between times: Why they are okay and tools to return to love

When I first started my spiritual journey, personal journey, new perspective on life, what ever you would like to call it – I was on an all-time high, I was on top of the world, amazed, filled with so much love, life, light and happiness and I felt more me than I had ever known.

But then, I wasn’t. And today I am telling you, that’s okay.

If you’ve read my previous blogs, you’ll know I call these times away from the high on life space as ‘in-between times’.

My first in-between time was extremely difficult for me. It was difficult because I had this new found, very strong perspective that life is as you chose it to be. And the thing is, I still believe this – But this does not mean that you, or I, have the capacity to be happy or high on life every single minute of every single day for the rest of our lives.

In-between times are just in-between times, they are not a failure, they do not mean you have drifted from your path, they do not mean you are doing something wrong, they simply mean you are human. If you are currently in your in-between time, ask yourself –

Without these in-between times, how will I identify the good if I haven’t seen the not-so-good? How will I understand and connect with others if I have not been in their/a similar mindset? How will I overcome obstacles, strengthening every time, if there are no obstacles? Lastly, how will I help others if I do not understand where they are coming from? It is you learning, it is you breaking away and it is you making space for something bigger, better and oh so fulfilling.

Every time, the in-between times will get better, especially with this new perspective on them. They will get lighter because you will get stronger. They will get easier because you will build the tools to process and release them. It’s like those graphs that are constantly going up and down, but ultimately, when you zoom out, it’s still going up. This is life. This is the beauty of life. Instead of fighting it, embrace and embody it.

I can and will always come back to me, to my heart of love and gratitude. And so will you, every time. If you are currently feeling stuck, stressed out, low vibrational or clenching to find hope that you will find your way out, here are some tools that I use during my in-between times that help me get through.

• Go within

Time with yourself is so important. Time digging deep, navigating through and connecting with yourself is a vital part of life, even more so when you are feeling disconnected.

However you connect with yourself – do it x 10 more and deep. Whether this be through writing, creating art, meditating, prayer, sitting in silence – there is most likely something going on inside of you that you haven’t touched just yet. Go within and touch the hell out of it, cradle it with love, get to know it, and when you feel you are at peace with it, you can release it.

You have everything you need inside of you, whether that be on a larger life size scale, or whether it be what you need to get through your in-between time – you know what you need, just give yourself the time and space to realise it.

• Allow yourself to feel inspired – a new routine, hobby or goal

Working towards new goal, starting a new hobby or setting a new routine in place sparks my soul. It makes me feel like I am at the beginning of something BIG and amazing. Usually, it rockets me out of my in-between time and into a new and exciting time of my life.

Is there something you have always wanted to do but never got around to it? Or maybe there was fear or other circumstances standing in the way? Time to start! Take up that Yoga class, learn that new language, start that course, slot that new habit into your life.

Not feeling inspired in the mornings? Implement some new rituals to create a morning that sets the tone for the whole day, a routine that makes you want to get out of bed – even on the weekends! I wrote about some morning rituals I love and use as much as possible. Have a read, pick some that resonate with you and implement them into your day.

• Re-write your story

“Human beings are hardwired to act in alignment with their self-identity, always. You’ll never rise higher than your personal story” – Robin Sharma, The 5AM Club

Re-write your story and start that life. Let go of the things, people and beliefs that have been weighing you down for so long. You don’t owe anything to them, and they are not a part of you. Put a new you in place and start showing up as her/him. This will be the beginning of a new life – and it will definitely pull you out of any slum.

• SELF-LOVE practices

Dance, write, run, create art, take long baths and read romance, do whatever you need to FILL yourself up with self-love. Tell yourself how fucking beautiful, how sexy, how strong and how soft you are. Give yourself the love you need to flourish and find your way back to love – back to light, back to you.

• Gratitude

I think I have mentioned gratitude every time I have written, and I am totally all for that. Gratitude is THE most powerful tool I know of. When I am in a state of gratitude everything lifts me up.

When I am in an in-between time, I force myself to actually write a list with pen and paper, as often as possible throughout the day, of what I am grateful for in that very moment. But you can’t just write it – you need to write it and feel it.

Have some things or people you know when you think about you get a warm loving feeling. For example, I have a few people/things in my life that bring me back almost instantly; my nieces (if you have any gorgeous babies or kids in your life, perfect for this!) when my partner does something sweet, how excited I was my first time travelling and a few more. If you have a pet, they are usually perfect for a quick-lift-up-my-soul!

Do this as often as you need to get back to your state of gratitude. Let the beauty of the people and things around you lift you out of your in-between time.

Ultimately, you need to fully capture the understanding that it is okay to not feel on top of the world right now or all the time. These times are here to help you, even if it may not feel like it in the moment. Don’t be so harsh on yourself, develop the tools and strength to come back to you when you are ready. You have got this, I promise.

Lots of Love,

J x